A while back, an ex-girlfriend who I was clearly not over at the time asked me for a favor. I found the favor to be ridiculous, in fact, and I told her so in a creative and long-winded fashion. Below is the correspondence. In hindsight I realize I was channeling David Thorne of 27b/6, and it may be the finest writing I’ve ever done. The full correspondence is after the break, redacted to take out personal information, of course. If you know who this is, please don’t say. I’m only trying to embarrass myself here.