At risk of sounding like a pompous ass, I have style. I believe this because I get a lot of compliments on my choices in dress. Walking down the street I get asked for my advice a lot, or asked where I buy things, and do I always look this way? I’ve been caught on the street a handful of times by Asheville Street Style, interviewed by the Urban News, and regularly advise my friends on what to wear to meet Fortune 500 executives in China or on a first date. Fine, I surrender already — I have style.
And I’m into that, I’m into what is stylish. But — I’m not into fashion. I don’t have a well thumbed copy of the September Vogue on my night stand, and though I subscribe to the Sunday edition of the New York times, I don’t luridly gaze at the latest offerings of the major designers in the Style Magazine. I don’t care what’s in or what’s out, if it’s past Labor Day or if it was recently seen being worn by Lady Gaga at Occupy Wall Street. Those are useless ways to think about what will make you look awesome.
What’s the difference between style and fashion? Style is forever, fashion is for today. Style is accessible for everyone, fashion is passé by the time everyone identifies it. Style belongs to you, fashion belongs to wealthy hairless eccentrics in Milan that feed caviar to tiny inbred dogs.
This is Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs. I think it’s a marvelous approach to self-improvement. It was a handout in my Literature-based Research class, but I’ve learned that it embodies the humanist school of psychology, which Maslow founded.
- Physiological: the need to satisfy hunger, thirst, and other bodily preoccupations.
- Safety/security: the need to be out of danger.
- Belongingness: the need for affiliation with others, a sense of being loved or accepted.
- Esteem: the need to gain approval and recognition.
- Cognitive: the need to know, to understand, to explore
- Aesthetic: the need for symmetry, order and beauty.
- Self-actualization: the need to experience self fulfillment, to realize one’s full potential. The self actualizing person is one who is:
- Not afraid of the unknown and can tolerate doubt, uncertainty, and tentativeness that accompany the perception of the new and unfamiliar.
- Not ashamed of his/her human nature with its shortcomings, imperfections, frailties, and weaknesses.
- Not hampered by conventions but does not flout conventions merely for the sake of doing so.
- Missioned-oriented on the basis of an uncoerced sense of responsibility, duty, or obligation.
- Respectful of others and tries to understand their perspectives.
- Attuned to the opportunities of solitude and privacy as well as of social interaction.
- Fully conscious of personal responsibility for actions and for growth, not blaming others or charging others with the task motivation.
- In awe of the wonder of the everyday world and of life’s limitless possibilities.
- Possessed of a deep and unconditional empathy for human beings in general.
- Humble in his/her recognition of what he/she knows in comparison to what could be known and acknowledges others as teachers, respecting everyone as a potential contributor to his/her knowledge.
- Highly ethical and at least intuitively aware of Kant’s famous categorical imperative, which charges us to “Act only according to principles which we can will also to be universal laws.”
- Philosophical and possessed of an unhostile sense of humor
- Visionary but not inclined to impose his/her beliefs on others.
- Alive!
- Self-transcendence: the need to connect to something beyond the self and to move toward a meaningful selflessness through that connectedness.
I’ve been trying to start a new habit: Write a list at the beginning of every day.
Just that, no other requirements. Nice and simple, plenty of room for creativity. Even topics that might not make one think of putting them in a list, abstract, strange, inappropriate, untruthful, exaggerated. Just a morning mindbender. Here’s the first.
Favorite outdoor activities:
- Using an axe
- Chasing pedestrians
- Chasing pedestrians with axe
- Encasing ants and other insects in amber colored jello
- Hanging pasta from trees in reverence to the F.S.M.
- Harvesting dignity from natural essences
- On warm days after a dry spell, finding those little dried clumps of dirt that explode when you throw them
- Burning effigies of corrupt 19th century politicians
- Creating a zen woodchip garden
- Spraying post carrier with deer musk
- Creating orifices for Mother Nature

