November 27th, 2008 at 18:05 by Andrew
Lithe voices glide
like spirits in mist
short words spoken close.
Closed mouths tight lips
give way to sentences, vines
outstretched tendrils grasping
rich air for meaning, moisture.
The ecstasy is the infamy
of blasphemy, to marry flesh
in intimacy, crying out for more
and less and more.
Tell her something perfect
he says to himself, his lips stir — she cuts in
“Everything will be wrong tomorrw.”
“Then anything is right tonight.”
Losing count of drinks, cigarettes
kisses, they blur, until
the edge of the world
is the end of the night.
I wrote this on my typewriter, October 8, 2008.
I’m aware of some of it’s faults, but I welcome further criticism. And I don’t like the title.
I absolutely love this line I feel like I have been in these lines before.… “Everything will be wrong tomorrw.”
“Then anything is right tonight.”
I think my problem with the title is “first” implies something follows it. Unless of course this is the first of a series of poems that follow with this theme or characters. (hmm…now there’s a thought) It also makes me think of New Year’s Eve in Asheville.
So my personal preference would move toward a title like “First Ecstasy” or “One Night” without straying to far from the words you are already using.
I love this line “The ecstasy is the infamy of blasphemy” and how it rushes over the line break.