In solidarity with Wikipedia, Reddit and other sites my blog will be joining the anti-SOPA blackout on Wednesday, January 18. Though I don’t receive a lot of traffic and my lack of presence on the internet will likely go unnoticed, I feel that this is an important gesture that I can make. The reasons that SOPA damages freedom of speech have been well publicized, but if you would like to learn more please read this Techdirt article if you’re a little tech savvy, or this New York Times article for those of you who don’t know what DNS is.
If you have a blog or a website, I encourage you to join me and Wikipedia. If you use WordPress.org, you can install a plugin that makes this very simple to setup. You can find that plugin here: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/sopa-blackout-plugin/
Ricardo Montalbán is unimpressed with your efforts.
At risk of sounding like a pompous ass, I have style. I believe this because I get a lot of compliments on my choices in dress. Walking down the street I get asked for my advice a lot, or asked where I buy things, and do I always look this way? I’ve been caught on the street a handful of times by Asheville Street Style, interviewed by the Urban News, and regularly advise my friends on what to wear to meet Fortune 500 executives in China or on a first date. Fine, I surrender already — I have style.
And I’m into that, I’m into what is stylish. But — I’m not into fashion. I don’t have a well thumbed copy of the September Vogue on my night stand, and though I subscribe to the Sunday edition of the New York times, I don’t luridly gaze at the latest offerings of the major designers in the Style Magazine. I don’t care what’s in or what’s out, if it’s past Labor Day or if it was recently seen being worn by Lady Gaga at Occupy Wall Street. Those are useless ways to think about what will make you look awesome.
What’s the difference between style and fashion? Style is forever, fashion is for today. Style is accessible for everyone, fashion is passé by the time everyone identifies it. Style belongs to you, fashion belongs to wealthy hairless eccentrics in Milan that feed caviar to tiny inbred dogs.
Actually, I love cats.
A while back, an ex-girlfriend who I was clearly not over at the time asked me for a favor. I found the favor to be ridiculous, in fact, and I told her so in a creative and long-winded fashion. Below is the correspondence. In hindsight I realize I was channeling David Thorne of 27b/6, and it may be the finest writing I’ve ever done. The full correspondence is after the break, redacted to take out personal information, of course. If you know who this is, please don’t say. I’m only trying to embarrass myself here.
After a bit of a hiatus, Catherine and I return with another round of horoscopes. If you don’t like them, don’t believe them.
Aries
In the words of my West Virginian baby sitter from when I was 9: “You don’t know nothin’ and you stink like poop.” So get rid of that Cassie Edwards you’ve had simmering on the back of the toilet and get some real literature.
Litrachur.
Taurus
This thing right here is lettin all the ladies know what guys talk about. You know, the finer things in life. Check it out. Ooh dat dress so scandalous, and ya know another brotha couldn’t handle it. See ya shakin that thang like who’s da ish with a look in ya eye so devilish. Ya like to dance at all the hip hop spots, and ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots, not just urban she likes the pop; she was livin la vida loca. She had dumps like a truck truck truck, thighs like what what what. Baby move your butt butt butt. I think to sing it again.
Gemini
I hope you need a new dinette set because.… You’re the next contestant on the Price is Right! Come on down!
Cancer
Dear Cancer, this week has been a hectic one for you, but it’s time for a change. Don’t fool yourself into thinking a situation you are stuck in is worth being stuck in. Check yourself — before you wreck yourself.
Leo
While it’s a damned shame, the truth is you’ll never again be as young as you were when you started reading this sentence. Time to start saving for your retirement.
Or is it you that spins?
Aries
This week, be careful not to confuse “Aries” and “Aryan” when that cute girl at the bagel shop asks you what your sign is. If the words “Jewish Lynch Mob” don’t mean anything to you yet — they will. They will. You’ll be cream-cheesed-and-feathered and run out of town.
Taurus
It’s like this and like that: those heavenly bodies of light foretell that it ain’t nothin but a G-thang this for you, but wear a raincoat. You’re not ready to spawn quite yet.
Gemini
I know what you’ve been dealing with, that’s right, I’m talking to all of you that live in that same meat sack that you call a body. So to throw off the attempts of your multiple personalities to unionize, move to Wisconsin this week. Without the ability to collectively bargain, you’ll regain the upper hand and may actually be able to hold your shit together in the DSS office next time.
Cancer
Your supportive ways have come in handy as of late. If a friend asks you for advice, remember to remain unbiased and keep your emotions at bay when choosing words of wisdom to bestow.
Happy Fucking Trees
Hot off the presses here at Izzy’s Coffee Den where Catherine and I are plugging away interpreting the stars. We promise you that they are 100% actual horoscopes, written be real writers using an actual language. Don’t be fooled by the imitators (looking at you Susan Miller). You can read all of the horoscopes in this series here.
Aries
This is going to be an excellent week for your efforts to build a career. Get ready to update your resume, Aries, and make sure to include that thing you can do with your tongue. It’s a tough economy, darlin. — A.
Taurus
The stars point to intense danger for you. Go to the store, right now and buy all the chips on the shelves, stay home and eat them until they are gone and don’t leave your house. I’m serious, what I’m seeing for you out there on the streets would make a Spanish Inquisitor queasy. Let’s just say it involves a trampoline, power tools and that Doberman your neighbor’s just got. — A.
Gemini
This is a great time to play the stock market. Hot tip: Buy Frito-Lays stocks. They’re gonna blow up this week. Trust me. — A.
Cancer
So you took your old lady back, huh, Cancer? Weaksauce. Don’t be afraid to take the plunge sometimes and do what you know needs to happen. Often times fear (comfort) will stop us from doing what we know we is the best in a relationship — I expected much more from you. Keep your head up and give it a 60% chance of actually happening the way you “want”. — C.
This is somewhat derivative of the last poster I designed for Firecracker Jazz Band, but we needed one for our weekly performances at Olive or Twist so I came up with this design. Whipped this out in about an hour.
